I Watched A Bunch of Bad Christmas Movies So You Don't Have To
Silly movies to watch when you're also doing something else
*Spoilers may be mentioned below. I usually avoid them, but since all of these movies tend to end in similar ways, I figured it was okay this time*
Hallmark’s Christmas movie franchise is literally a multi-million dollar industry, with no indication of slowing down. Apparently, each year they make enough money from their films to make 175 more. And in the last few years, other big streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu are getting in on the action. Personally, I find most of these TV movies hard to watch, and yet…I still find myself holding out for the “watchable” ones. They can provide great holiday spirit, and they’re generally festive movies to have on in the background while you’re doing the dishes or organizing your sock drawer, because most of the time you don’t have to pay too close attention to get the gist of what’s going on.
Today I’m sharing some I’ve watched recently. I can’t say any of them are works of incredible cinema, but that’s not always what you need to have a good time.
Hot Frosty (2024), Netflix
Starting off strong with one of the most promoted movies on Netflix this month: Hot Frosty. Ohhhhhh, man. This movie. The title alone was too good not to give a shot. And it stars Dustin Milligan and Lacey Chabert? What a pairing (if you don’t know, Milligan played Ted Mullins in Schitt’s Creek, and Chabert was, of course, the iconic Gretchen Weiners in Mean Girls).
The vibe was definitely Christmasy, but the storyline was pretty much too silly to buy into in any way, shape, or form. Hearing Chabert earnestly tell the townspeople, “He’s a snowman!” immediately cut any of the romance or seriousness I was desperately trying to feel. On top of that, I’m baffled by the creative choices that went into Milligan’s look. I guess they were going for “snowman” when they decided on his hair and makeup, but it was giving “vampire,” if you ask me.
The support roles of sheriff and deputy, played by Craig Robinson and Jo Lo Truglio, were the only characters that seemed to actually grasp the concept of comedic timing, which is definitely important to make a movie like this work.
It got a whopping 81% on Rotten Tomatoes, but only 53% of Google reviewers liked it (I’m in the Google camp).
Our Little Secret (2024), Netflix
Boy, was this movie not for me. I immediately could not get over the orangey overlay that made everyone look jaundiced—yet even with the added “warmth,” the set design choices felt cold and devoid of holiday cheer. The scenes were endless, and the plot was unbelievable. I know some people enjoyed it, so honestly, take this with a grain of salt. But I couldn’t finish this one, and not even my affinity for Lindsay Lohan or Kristin Chenoweth could help. Might I suggest you watch Lohan’s other holiday film from 2022, Falling For Christmas, instead? Its plot is significantly more tolerable, and it’s set in a fictional town in Utah, where the characters spend most of their time in a well-decorated luxury ski resort—much more festive!
Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 38% and Google users liked it 84% of the time! I’m with RT on this one.
Christmas Island (2023), Netflix
This is the first one on the list without a star-studded cast, and I think it worked in the movie’s favor. It felt true to the Hallmark beat (woman-from-big-city-goes-to-tiny-town-and-falls-in-love-with-local-man), but with a fresh take: the female lead (Rachel Skarsten) is a private pilot who is taking a rich family to Paris for Christmas. Due to a snowstorm over the Atlantic, they have make an emergency landing in a Nova Scotian town called Christmas Island.
I actually watched the whole thing and while it was appropriately gimmicky, it didn’t feel grating or annoying. The casting worked for me, I bought into the chemistry, and there were some charming performances from supporting roles. That’s a win in my book. And I can’t say I’ve ever seen a movie about a female pilot before…more of those please!
This one was liked by 74% of Google users, and got a Rotten Tomatoes score of 54%.
Holiday in Handcuffs (2007), ABC
Okay, here we go. This one’s a blast from my personal past and, strangely, was a movie that made me believe in holiday-induced love when I was a teen. All I wanted back then was for a guy to string up Christmas lights over a frozen pond so we could ice-skate together and maybe kiss while sitting under a gazebo. I’d be wearing a coat, something puffy with a faux fur-lined hood, the perfect pair of Abercrombie jeans, and tall Uggs, of course.
A woman (Melissa Joan Hart), who is under constant pressure from her parents to “get a real job” and have a serious boyfriend, cracks when the guy she is seeing bails on her last minute and she has no one to bring home with her for Christmas. A man (Mario Lopez) just happens to walk into the diner where she works at the most opportune time (for her, it is most unfortunate timing for him). She holds him at gun-point and forces him to come to the isolated cabin her family has rented for the holiday. I’ve recently rewatched this, and I was surprised to find both leads are relatively strong and have decent chemistry—I actually believe that they would fall for each other, which makes it quite charming and romantic, if you can get over the Stockholm Syndrome of it all.
All of the support roles by her parents, grandmother, and siblings work well for me, and the overall aethestic is perfectly cozy and Christmasy. It’s peak snowed-in-in-a-log-cabin energy. While there’s still plenty of cringe, I can see why audiences gave it a 64% on Rotten Tomatoes. And 85% of Google users like it too.
Happiest Season (2020), Hulu
I don’t know what to categorize this movie as, to be honest. It doesn’t quite feel like a TV movie, but it definitely didn’t solidify itself as a Christmas Movie™ either. It’s one of Hulu’s first forays into the holiday world, and they sure went all out with the cast.
As heartwarming as it was to see a queer couple in this type of format, Kristin Stewart’s girlfriend (played by Mackenzie Davis) was a real jerk who forced her back into the closet, which is less forgivable to me than the movie decides it is. My biggest take away when I first watched it in 2020, though, was that it put Mary Holland on the map for me—she’s hilarious. And I can pretty much watch Aubrey Plaza, Daniel Levy, or Mary Steenburgen do anything.
Rotten Tomatoes loved it, with an 85% and Google users weren’t far behind, with 75% of reviewers giving it a thumbs up.
A Heidelberg Holiday (2023), Netflix
An American woman with German roots (Ginna Claire Mason) travels to Germany to participate in a massive Christmas market, where she stays with her grandmother’s family friends—who of course, just happen to have an attractive, single son (Frédéric Brossier). As a small-time knitwear-maker who dreams of being brave enough to apply to markets to sell my work at one day, I enjoyed all the hoopla over makers coming together to sell their wares in such a festive way. The vibe here is seriously cozy; I loved the set design, the filming on location, and the incorporation of a non-American Christmas. The female lead, however, was a little too saccharine at times, and I didn’t fully believe that the two romantic leads would have that much compatibility. But it was still a fun watch.
Rotten Tomatoes was ambivalent, coming in at 50%, and I couldn’t even find a Google score for this.
Christmas, As Usual (2023), Netflix
I knew nothing about a Norwegian Christmas going into this, so this one was fun in similar ways that the German one was. The movie felt like it might have been set on a tiny little snowflake, which was very sweet. In Christmas, As Usual a Norwegian woman, Thea, (Ida Ursin-Holm) brings her Indian fiancé, Jashan, (Kanan Gill) to her family’s home for Christmas, and of course: cultures clash, chaos ensues. There were some plot points that didn’t work for me (ie. the entire family’s hysterical reaction to the spice levels in Jashan’s food), and some of the more tension-filled scenes were handled clumsily. But overall, I enjoyed getting a peak into a part of the world I’m not familiar with, and especially liked the ski-hiking scene, where passersby gave each other a cheerful “Hi-hi!” and the family took a break from hiking to eat a steaming piece of meat on a stick called koselig.
This movie was loosely based on a real couple’s experience, and according to this reddit thread, the man who inspired Jashan’s character was really happy with how the film turned out. He’s even hoping for a sequel!
Not sure that will happen, at least if Rotten Tomatoes has any say it in (30%). Google users were swayed every so slightly more (57%).
And that’s my totally non-conclusive, non-ranked list of TV movies that did or did not do it for me this holiday season.
Thanks for reading, and happy holiday movie-watching!
Shelley